Last month Sheikh Muhammad Munajid commented on the Olympics. He said such an event is, in his infinite wisdom, an abomination that pleases Satan. I personally didn’t notice the athletes’ skimpy outfits, because, well, as a civilized person I’d rather concentrate on the game and admire the ubiquitous sporting passion. Must’ve missed that one.
And just recently, the good Sheikh, formerly a Saudi diplomat for the USA, stated in a Saudi TV that the mouse is one of Satan’s soldiers.
Dang. Must’ve missed that one, too. I thought they’re animals! What folly. Mice are soldiers! You know, soldiers. The dudes with guns and swords and spears to kick your ass? Not sure what’s Satan been smoking, though, since mice are, uh, small and stuff. But who am I to protest? The Sheikh said so!
So, anyway, yes, apparently the mouse is one of Satan’s soldiers, and everything it touches would be impure and unclean (wow, we didn’t know that before). The Sheikh has also warned us about the danger of Mickey Mouse and Jerry (of Tom and Jerry, obviously), because it teaches children that “mouse is a loveable creature” while they’re actually, ‘duh, Satan’s soldiers. Man, this is just wrong, isn’t it? They’re Satan’s soldiers for fuck’s sake! Damn Hollywood, corrupting my kids’ minds.
Well, at least Hubbard made friends.