Disintegrator Pistol

Did you know?

Ron Hubbard taught that Moses had a “disintegrator pistol”.

Wat.

While a crossover of Biblical story and science fiction is indeed epic (one cannot defy the pure awesomeness of the sight of David battling Goliath with a lightsaber), Hubbard in this case was simply pushing the envelope of absurdity into uncharted territory. Conjuring up stories is one thing, believing in it (let alone telling people to do so) is another.

Moses (Hubbard's version), with his holy disintegrator pistol (possibly with a snake-shapeshifting feature), presumably about to shoot the Golden Calf.

This is precisely why the word “Hubbard” is now somehow synonymous with “barking mad” or “batshit insane”.

(pics taken from Flickr and Digik.)

25 thoughts on “Disintegrator Pistol

  1. The article in wikipedi (sound a lot like menipedi, huh!) said that he was a science fiction writer.

    Next we will see that Jesus with help of Doraemon’s Reverse time blanket raise Lazarus.
    or…
    Joshua using pocket earthquake generator to rumble the Wall of Jericho.
    or…
    Samson actually genetically engineered human that given him strong power.

    Wait.. I have one…
    Actually, Excalibur is a Anakin’s Old Lightsaber, thrown from galaxy far far away and long long ago…

    Where does it ends?

    One wonder what the hell Tom Cruise thinking…

    PS :
    Your blog becoming more and more funnier at times. witty and funny, nice combo.

  2. @ dnial

    You’re underestimating Hubbard.

    Listen;

    75,000,000 years ago the Xenu figure ruled over about 75 different planets all faced with the problem of overpopulation. He called for billions of the people from the planets under the cover of an income tax related issue. He then injected them with a paralysis inducing agent, packed them into planes, and put them near volcanoes on earth. He then blew up the volcanoes with hydrogen bombs, gathered the spirits left behind, boxed those, and brought them all to the movie theatre. He showed a film that instilled all of the world’s knowledge in our heads by making it all up anew. Even the beliefs in other religions was said to have been in the movie. These souls inhabit men on earth today because they can’t escape the atmosphere.

    How about that? That’s official.

    @ dana

    Begitulah.πŸ˜€

  3. …and somebody told me that Tower of Babel was actually a rocket to reach God’s Heaven.πŸ˜•

    …and King Solomon rode a lightspeed UFO to travel in a blink…

    …and Noah’s Ark is actually a DNA compartment…

    …and Cuchulainn’s Gae Bolg is sort of Batman gadget…

    …and Loro Jonggrang was trapped in bio-stasis by Bandung Bondowoso…

    …and meteor fell for Sangkuriang’s wrath in Tangkuban Perahu…

    …and Jayabaya has relativistic time machine…

    The list is long. But who want to believe? Nobody.😦

    It’s sad that people are science-ignorant bunch nowadays. Oh well. (-_-)

  4. Reinterpretation of ancient legends by utilizing sci-fi: Epic at the highest possible degree.

    Remember Planet of the Apes‘ “CALIMA”? Like that.

  5. ^

    Reinterpretation of ancient legends by utilizing sci-fi: Epic at the highest possible degree.

    There open one possibility: that King Arthur once transgendered through surgery in Camelot, hence became “Arturia”.πŸ˜•

  6. Ah, but the integral part of the ancient-legends-meet-sci-fi thing is the allegories and conspiracy theory-like twists. So, for the Arturia case, a political, patriarchal facade (as in the game) is more epic.πŸ˜•

  7. So, for the Arturia case, a political, patriarchal facade (as in the game) is more epic.πŸ˜•

    Actually, you just don’t want it to be true:mrgreen: But isn’t that a stirring plot device? I think it will be epic in its own right, i.e. medieval deconstruction of our modern LGBT problem.πŸ˜€

  8. No, it’s not as epic and rather silly. I’d go for political facade any day.

    Not because of tidak rela. As you know, genderbending and traps don’t really bother me.

  9. 75,000,000 years ago the Xenu figure ruled over about 75 different planets all faced with the problem of overpopulation. He called for billions of the people from the planets under the cover of an income tax related issue. He then injected them with a paralysis inducing agent, packed them into planes, and put them near volcanoes on earth. He then blew up the volcanoes with hydrogen bombs, gathered the spirits left behind, boxed those, and brought them all to the movie theatre. He showed a film that instilled all of the world’s knowledge in our heads by making it all up anew. Even the beliefs in other religions was said to have been in the movie. These souls inhabit men on earth today because they can’t escape the atmosphere.

    *terpana*

    I watch a lot episodes of Stargate, and I don’t believe in existence of Go’auld.
    But these man… Wow!!!

    Seriously… is this person Schizophrenic?

    Inability to separate reality from fantasy in one of the symptoms of Schizophrenia.
    That, and inability to use Occam’s Razor is a sound of stupidity.πŸ˜€

    And he can establish a religion….
    Wow… just… Wow….

    Human never cease to amaze me…
    When you think you know all of them, than this happens…
    *feeling Dejavu with gandalf conversation with fordo in earlier scene of LOTR*
    Wait.. maybe I am Gandalf?

  10. Terlepas dari masalah pengerukan duit dan cuci otak pengikutnya, saya kok nggak ngelihat Scientology ini lebih ‘nggak masuk akal’ dari agama-agama arus besar ya (lebih lucu sih mungkin)? Buat saya ‘transubstansi’ dan ‘hypostatic union’-nya Katolik malah lebih gila lagi meski saya dibesarkan dengan ituπŸ˜•

  11. @ dnial

    Interested to join the church?πŸ˜€

    Anyway, you’re not Gandalf and you know it.

    @ Fikar

    He?

    @ Catshade

    Ya. Kalau Scientology itu dibuat pada abad ke-10 (atau abad 18, era lahirnya fiksi ilmiah?), mungkin hanya akan jadi agama biasa saja. Lengkap dengan komunitasnya, ekstrimisnya…

    Penerimaan akan agama itu ‘kan masalah meme.πŸ˜•

    @ galeter

    Dibantu apanya mas?πŸ˜•

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