Chat de Buggies ep. 1

Selamat datang di serial baru dari RosenQueen, company, Chat de Buggies — kumpulan chat log yang lumayan blogsome

Berikut log dari chatroom software peer-to-peer bikinan Xpentor yang menghubungkan komputer-komputer di asrama saya. Yah, karena saya sudah mau pindah, mungkin ini bakal jadi chat-chat terakhir saya di HUB langganan saya tersebut

Singlish ahead. You have been warned.*

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[01:33:42] <X> haiz
[01:34:13] <Kyon> use baloons
[01:34:14] <X> hafta run 2 medan at the Tit Bits shop 2 get some if u wan some
[01:34:29] <X> well
[01:34:38] <X> baloons r way too big 4 us asians
[01:34:53] <Kyon> then insert the piece at the backdoor
[01:35:01] <Kyon> doesn’t matter, won’t fertilize
[01:35:18] <X> well…juz ask the gal 2 take pills
[01:35:19] <X> ez
[01:35:33] <X> dat’s wat i did
[01:35:56] <Kyon> what, backdoor resort?
[01:36:11] <Kyon> well, play it safe, else you screw up.
[01:36:17] <X> i did
[01:36:24] <X> i did screw up
[01:36:59] <X> almost gonna celebrate Father’s Day 2 weeks ago
[01:37:03] <X> haha
[01:37:05] <Kyon> so, the solution?
[01:37:09] <X> not wif my dad though
[01:37:19] <X> ask Her 2 take pils
[01:37:29] <X> pills cost rm4 for 2
[01:37:44] <X> take it 48-72 hours after intercourse
[01:37:47] <Kyon> cheap shit, but real useful…
[01:37:48] <X> it works
[01:37:51] <X> yea
[01:37:54] <Kyon> neat…
[01:37:55] <X> got it frm Guardian
[01:38:08] <Kyon> i’ll remember that…
[01:38:15] <X> had quite a conversation wif the pharmacist
[01:38:24] <X> haha
[01:38:29] <X> dat was funny
[01:38:56] <X> she displayed quite in detail
[01:39:03] <X> when i told her my situation
[01:39:08] <X> n she’s helpful
[01:39:25] * X playing: Paramore – Here We Go Again(Acoustic)(0:03:01)
[01:40:07] <X> hello?
[01:40:12] <X> nobody here?
[01:40:23] <Kyon> that was a she?
[01:40:28] <Kyon> god damn
[01:40:35] <X> the pharmacist was a she
[01:40:38] <X> yea
[01:40:41] <Kyon> must’ve been hilarious…
[01:40:44] <Kyon> tell me
[01:40:44] <X> yea
[01:40:47] <X> well
[01:40:48] <Kyon> how did it go?
[01:40:54] <X> i walked in wif my sunglasses
[01:41:08] <X> then i look around
[01:41:13] <X> but cant find
[01:41:29] <Y>
[01:41:34] <X> then i had 2 go 2 the counter
[01:41:36] <Y> 1 word: retards
[01:41:49] <X> then she said:”How may i help u mister?”
[01:41:58] <X> so i was like:”errr….”
[01:42:13] <Kyon> sunglasses…
[01:42:26] <X> “let’s say i jz had a intercourse wif dis gal…blablabla…”
[01:42:30] <Y> …………
[01:42:33] <Y> dude
[01:42:34] <X> saying all in 1 breathe
[01:42:38] <X> breath*
[01:42:46] <Y> I can’t imagine you doing it
[01:42:50] <Y> I seriously can’t
[01:42:51] <X> then she dint ask anymore
[01:42:59] <X> well..it did happened
[01:43:04] <X> anyway
[01:43:05] <Y> Well shoot me
[01:43:11] <X> she’s very helpful
[01:43:27] <X> recommended me drugs which i dun hafta ask 4 it
[01:43:31] <Y> both of you suckers probably got laid already
[01:43:35] <X> yea
[01:43:39] <X> so?
[01:43:40] <Y> lol
[01:43:47] <Y> juz stating the obvious
[01:43:50] <Y> for fun
[01:43:56] <Y> anyways
[01:43:59] <X> i tot it must b around rm50++
[01:44:07] <X> 4 the pills of coz
[01:44:15] <Y> 50 bucks for pills?
[01:44:18] <X> mb its cheap bcuz of the quantities
[01:44:23] <X> jz 2 pills
[01:44:32] <Y> lol
[01:44:36] <X> she even asked me 2 write down my name
[01:44:39] <X> i/c no
[01:44:41] <X> address
[01:44:42] <Kyon>
[01:44:45] <X> phone no
[01:44:45] <Y> yeah
[01:44:46] <X> walao
[01:44:52] <X> she even checked my IC
[01:44:52] <Y> all drug stores ask you to do that
[01:44:53] <X> zzz
[01:45:02] <Y> Just in case anything goes wrong
[01:45:02] <X> no point wearing sunglasses
[01:45:10] <X> so i “revealed” myself
[01:45:15] <Y> You could actually poison/kill yourself with pretty much any drug you buy
[01:45:23] <X> yea
[01:45:24] <X> true
[01:45:40] <X> then she tell me bout the precautions
[01:45:47] <X> bla bla bla
[01:45:48] <Y> good thing they ask for records, in indonesia, you can buy any drug and run off
[01:45:55] <X> those “….just in case…”
[01:45:58] <Y> fucking unsafe
[01:46:02] <X> u noe
[01:46:03] <X> wah
[01:46:04] <X> nice
[01:46:09] <X> cool la
[01:46:20] <X> cheap & available drugs
[01:46:26] <X> y not good?
[01:46:30] <Y> bloody fool, too much of sleeping pills is the easiest way to kill yourself
[01:46:38] <X> wif dis we can stop poverty
[01:46:41] <Y> …..
[01:46:49] <X> kill all the r-tards…
[01:46:50] <Kyon> …
[01:46:51] <X> y not?
[01:47:02] <X> if too many ppl is as stupid as me
[01:47:11] <X> go impregnate women
[01:47:12] <Y> sure
[01:47:18] <X> then no drugs 2 stop it
[01:47:21] <X> then how?
[01:47:36] <X> thx 2 guardian
[01:47:41] <Y> some ppl are too impulsive la. some idiots try suiide after failing a test
[01:47:43] <X> im a free man!
[01:47:44] <X> haha
[01:47:53] <Y> total idiocy if you ask me
[01:47:59] <X> well…i try suicide bcuz i think its cool
[01:48:02] <X> but i failed
[01:48:08] <Kyon> …
[01:48:18] <X> jz a matter of stopping frm breathing
[01:48:18] <Y> really?
[01:48:21] <Y> thats something new
[01:48:31] <X> i found out it’s kinda suffering
[01:48:42] <Y> just for the first few seconds
[01:48:43] <X> so i rather live
[01:48:45] <X> haha
[01:48:52] <Y> after like 2 min you won’t even be alive
[01:49:00] <X> nah
[01:49:12] <X> u wont come across dat stage
[01:49:24] <Y> ?
[01:49:26] <X> b4 u noe it u wud b grasping 4 breath
[01:49:37] <X> its a normal human reflex
[01:49:40] <Y> kill your instincts la
[01:49:48] <X> not instinct
[01:49:49] <Kyon> jump from the 25th floor
[01:49:50] <Y> or you think you can’t do it?
[01:49:51] <X> but reflex
[01:49:52] <Kyon> won’t hurt
[01:49:57] <Y> you can kill your reflex
[01:49:58] <X> nah
[01:49:59] <Kyon> instantaeous
[01:50:07] <X> if i happen 2 go there
[01:50:08] <Y> 25th floor ar?
[01:50:12] <X> 25th floor
[01:50:14] <Y> must fall head first
[01:50:25] <X> i rather rape all the gals 1st b4 jumping down
[01:50:28] <X> haha
[01:50:30] <X> jk jk
[01:50:30] <Y> if leg first you will feel some pain
[01:50:45] <Kyon> well, JUMP WHILE YOU’RE HIGH!
[01:50:56] <Kyon> take some drugs or martinis
[01:50:58] <X> try cumming on air!
[01:51:04] <Y> …………….
[01:51:08] <X> dat’ll b cool
[01:51:09] <Y> all so wussy
[01:51:17] <Y> go take a knife to your throat la
[01:51:25] <X> pain
[01:51:27] <Y> or if you dare, to your stomach
[01:51:27] <X> dun wan
[01:51:38] <X> rather walk 2 ur room
[01:51:46] <X> stab myself in front of u
[01:51:50] <Y> can also
[01:51:54] <X> then u’ll get caught
[01:52:03] <Y> I will just laugh maniacally while you do that
[01:52:09] <X> well
[01:52:11] <X> good then
[01:52:15] <Kyon> cumming on air is uber-cool…
[01:52:17] <X> so u wont b sent 2 jail
[01:52:32] <X> instead u’ll b send 2 tanjung rambutan

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Kopral Geddoe -> Kyon
Someone 1 -> X
Someone 2 -> Y

Well, kenyataan… Anda bisa menangkap maksudnya ’kan? Parah? Yah, itu kalau beliau jujur, sih. Entah kalau cuma bercanda. Yang pasti lumayan bikin ketawa… Atau bisa buat refleksi juga, kalau anda tergolong orang yang serius  Btw beliau orangnya baik, lho, koleksi filenya keren-keren

…

…heh?

Lima tulisan saya yang belakangan tidak bermutu, ya? Oh, maaf, otak saya lagi kering Anggap saja episode filler — saya butuh jeda untuk menulis tulisan-tulisan yang (buat saya) agak bermutu, namun saya ingin jeda tersebut diisi dengan post (yang kurang bermutu tentunya)

Mungkin besok bisa sembuh, sebab ayah dan adik laki-laki saya mau berkunjung Jadi, saya bisa makan sepuasnya, dan seterusnya, dan seterusnya — otak bakal di-refresh

Syalom…